Equal Parenting: Benefits for Parents and Children

All this time, child care has always been borne by women as mothers. In fact, fathers' involvement in childcare at home also has a positive impact on their work environment. Small successes in child development can give a father a feeling of accomplishment which makes his personality much more positive, when compared to a father who only has little involvement in the care of his children at home.

“The little successes of a child at home make a father less aggressive. This will carry over to the work environment. Being a more nurturance employee, the relationship with superiors and subordinates is better," said Edward Andriyanto, A clinical child psychologist, in a discussion on the 2020 National Father's Day Celebration, Millennial Parenting: Equal parenting which held by the Indonesia Business Coalition for Women Empowerment (IBCWE) with AQUA and Sarihusada at November 12th, 2020.

Edward also added that the father's involvement in raising the baby is not a sacrifice but a reward. Moreover, the relationship between husband and wife and satisfaction in marriage will also increase.

"Affection, affection, comfort, and confidence will be obtained. It is a reward and a success when a father gets involved in childcare,” he explained.

HR Director - Business Services AQUA and Sarihusada, Dedie Renaldi also expressed the same thing. Equal parenting will provide positive feedback to the company. Therefore, the company supports the involvement of male employees in the care of their children. “What we do at the company is trying to touch a lot of people. The company supports employees to foster gender equality. Not only in the office but also in each other's homes, so that they can have a better influence in the work environment,” he added.

Equal parenting is a pattern of parenting that eliminates gender norms that have been prevailing in society. There is a lot of concern in society if this parenting pattern has a negative impact on their children, especially from their sexual tendencies.

Edward again explained that there is no relationship between parenting patterns and sexual tendencies of children. The proper definition of equivalent parenting is to involve children in activities or activities of parents, so that the child has the freedom to explore all available fields.

“Sexual preference, gender and sex are three different things. Gender neutral parenting is more about open-mindedness, not on children's sexual preferences, ” he said.

Executive Director of the Indonesian International Plan Foundation, Dini Widiastuti, said that this equal parenting pattern is very good for maximizing children's potential, the choice of professional fields to be pursued by children will also be more diverse. “Who knows, your son will become a famous chef or your daughter will become president or whatever profession that girls rarely do. We must open the widest possible opportunity for them (childre_red), if we close that (opportunity) from an early age, it's a shame," she explained.

moreover, there is an opinion in society that men should not be weepy, but according to Public Figure, Fedi Nuril, this is a weakness when he entered the world of acting. Sensitivity is needed to become a capable actor. “I've always been told since I was a kid that boys can't be weepy. However, when entering the world of cinema, it turns out that it requires a higher sensitivity. So that the emotions of the characters played can really be felt by the audience," he said.

He also added, as a parent, Fedi looked that crying children are a form of expression in expressing his feelings. So it requires the right way to respond. “When my child cries, I tend to let him go and hug him. But I also saw that he moved on easily, it didn't take a long time if he cried. If someday he wants to become an actor, I hope he will be more sensitive and not confined in norms that men should not be weepy”.

Edward also stated that as parents, it is best to allow their children to express themselves, one of which is crying. According to him, if a boy is not allowed to cry, then when he grows up he will vent those emotions with a form of aggressiveness.

Therefore, inequality in parenting is a very detrimental pattern of parenting for all parties, both parents and children. "Being a father and mother is a full time job, both of them must play a full role," added Edward.

IBCWE views gender neutral parenting as very important for parents to apply in order to encourage children to explore all the interests, careers, and hobbies that they want. Executive Director of IBCWE, Maya Juwita added, this is very important so more women can get equality in the world of work, both in terms of work and their rights as workers.